Sunday, November 7, 2010

Hate Mail: "YOU ARE CAST OUT!"

I was sent an email today that, I can't even explain. It has to be one of the silliest emails I've received, and one that I first took as a joke. Which is pretty impressive, considering its size.

I speak for for all juggalos all over america and all the world wide that you are cast out of the juggalo family! Just cuz you went to some fuckin concert you think you a juggalo!?! Bitch you dont know us! You dont now bout us! You dont know bout swiggin hatchets! You dont know bout being dissed on and beat down! You dont know bout bein poor! Coverin bitchs in faygo everywhere you go! All uggalos are outcasts and all outcasts are juggalos and ur a fuckin pop culture pussy bitch! Dont say you like ICP wen you dont even like there fans. Juggalos like me we couldnt give a fuck! Post this shit on ur failblog so I can tell real fam not to do shit for your bitch ass! Dont do shit for this mothfucker he's a JUGGAHO!

Obviously, this is in response to my last post, where I reaffirm that I am a juggalo, and that the name of this blog is more of a protest to the direction that the "juggalo" name is currently sinking into (thank you to those who have been getting it, by the way).

Now, I'm not going to get into the obvious part of what is so wrong with this email. If you can't see it, then you need to reread it multiple times, because it's clear as day. In fact, I don't even need to get into any points in this email; it can stand on its own two feet.

However, I will say that the word "juggaho" was actually sent to me capitalized and in bold-face, like he thinks he just made the term up on the fly and is trying to showcase to me his clever wordplay in an insulting way.

Anyway, in response to the poster:
  1. I do know what poverty and being put down feels like. I probably know it a lot better than you.
  2. I know all about "Real Juggalos", and all about "juggalos". As soon as I read the first line of your email, I predicted how it would continue and how it would end. And my prediction was right on the money.
  3. If you "cover bitches in Faygo" in your everyday life, then people must think you're an asshole. Which would explain the social isolation that you feel. Solution: stop soaking people in Faygo (unless it's an ICP concert, of course). I got an idea: why don't you drink it? Crazy idea, I know. But Faygo is actually pretty good. Bon App├ętit magazine listed Faygo Root Beer as the nation's best root beer, so there has to be something to it. The bottle doesn't lie when it says it's Dee-licious. And no, I do not know about drinking hatchets.
  4. I do not fuck insects! Any claim that I do is purely speculation.
  5. By "casting" me out, thank you for solidifying my stance as a juggalo.